What Can We Do About Perverts?

mrsbright

mrsbright

Well-Known Member
A few months back, as I walked home, this guy slowed down to ask me directions. As I said I had no idea, he started talking dirty, about his penis, which he was holding out in his hand, giving himself a wank.

I had no idea what to do, so I just walked home as fast as I could (I was only two houses away). He did not follow me. I did not check a license plate or anything (this would have meant I would need to walk back and try to memorize it and I was not only not thinking this much, but also did not want to stay close to the car for a second longer because I was worried).

What surprised me, once the shock passed and I talked about it to people, was how unexceptional this was. People told me about guys rubbing themselves on them in subways; my friend recalled being a kid and having a man show her his penis from his van and how it traumatized her young mind; another girl told me about how her neighbour jerked off as she worked in her lawn and garden in a bikini top.

So, it is not sexual assault and usually would not have a proof, which is why none of the people ever considered calling the cops or anything like this. And I guess it makes sense. But is there anything to be done about sexual perverts that we meet only shortly like this?
 
I think its best you report it, tell the authorities where you saw the guy and perhaps he frequents that area. He may not have touched you but he did harass you, made you feel uncomfortable and exposed himself to. Its a high chance that someone else reported seeing that creep. And for you, do carry anything that will scare off weirdos specially when you're walking alone. I got my kid sister a key chain alarm but hers is something she can wear around her neck. It makes this loud shrieking noise with a little tug, guaranteed to attract attention. Its very cheap (about 5 - 10 bucks), available online and local self defense stores.
 
If the pervert frequents the area you should try to report them, otherwise it maybe hard to track them down. I was at a bus station once and a pervert was touching up women so we all ganged up on him to scare him away. If there had been police around or someone from the bus station we would have reported him, but it's hard when you can't detain them, not do you want to challenge them as they could turn on you.
 
You couldn't be more right about this being a frequent thing. It's happened to me more times than I can remember. However, I've also always lived in big cities so I suppose that increased the chances. I'll tell you what I learned: Don't do what you may naturally want to do by engaging with this person, yelling at them, punching their window as they roll it up (maybe I did that). The easiest thing to do is stop completely, take your phone out, & start taking pictures. They'll get scared & drive away & you'll have evidence to make a report if you so choose to.
 
That's a good idea Joan. I lived next door to one. He harassed me constantly, for nearly four years. I kept reporting him, kept a diary. The police spoke to him several times but they couldn't charge him because there were never any witnesses. Finally I couldn't take it any more so I moved away. Far away. I'm still badly affected by it. I get jumpy very easily and suffer from bad anxiety.
 
I agree with those who are saying report it anyways. There's a good chance you're not the only one this has happened to and if they can get enough info from all the reports all together then they might be able to charge the guy. There's a good chance he'll get charged too if there's a school or daycare or playground anywhere near where you live.
 
It happened to me once. I was at the bus stop and some guy asked when the next bus was due. I looked down annd there it was, in his hand! I immediately burst out laughing and he ran away! I did report it to the police when I got home though, I thought it was a ridiculous thing to do but someone else could have got really upset about it.
 
missbishi said:
It happened to me once. I was at the bus stop and some guy asked when the next bus was due. I looked down annd there it was, in his hand! I immediately burst out laughing and he ran away! I did report it to the police when I got home though, I thought it was a ridiculous thing to do but someone else could have got really upset about it.
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One of the girl I mentioned said that, for her bachelor, she had done a class about sexual deviances and the like and it was said that those exhibitionnist creeps often had a very low self-esteem and kept doing it because the people they creeped on were too in shock to say anything etc. She told me that when she knew this, the neighbour who jerked off watching her -- she humiliated him, called him disgusting and everything, and he was so ashamed he never did it again.

So maybe you laughing at him made him ashamed too and he would not find the nerve to try it again if he, like the pattern would indicate, also has bad self esteem!


As for reporting -- yeah, maybe I should have tried. Now it's a bit late, I don't even recall the color of his car or of his hair (my memory thankfully suppressed as much of it as it could afford to)!
 
I agree with the others about reporting it anyway, and here is why...sometimes people like this frequent the same neighborhoods over and over. If you report it then the police are aware of it and can patrol the area more frequently. Many times these same people will do this to innocent children who don't know how to report it so when you do you may be helping them.
 
mrsbright said:
A few months back, as I walked home, this guy slowed down to ask me directions. As I said I had no idea, he started talking dirty, about his penis, which he was holding out in his hand, giving himself a wank.

I had no idea what to do, so I just walked home as fast as I could (I was only two houses away). He did not follow me. I did not check a license plate or anything (this would have meant I would need to walk back and try to memorize it and I was not only not thinking this much, but also did not want to stay close to the car for a second longer because I was worried).

What surprised me, once the shock passed and I talked about it to people, was how unexceptional this was. People told me about guys rubbing themselves on them in subways; my friend recalled being a kid and having a man show her his penis from his van and how it traumatized her young mind; another girl told me about how her neighbour jerked off as she worked in her lawn and garden in a bikini top.

So, it is not sexual assault and usually would not have a proof, which is why none of the people ever considered calling the cops or anything like this. And I guess it makes sense. But is there anything to be done about sexual perverts that we meet only shortly like this?
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It may not be sexual assault but he did expose himself in public where inappropriate so that is indecent exposure. Try to go and report to the police and if you got a valuable description of the man. I would try to see if this guy lives in your neighborhood or not.
 
mrsbright said:
One of the girl I mentioned said that, for her bachelor, she had done a class about sexual deviances and the like and it was said that those exhibitionnist creeps often had a very low self-esteem and kept doing it because the people they creeped on were too in shock to say anything etc. She told me that when she knew this, the neighbour who jerked off watching her -- she humiliated him, called him disgusting and everything, and he was so ashamed he never did it again.

So maybe you laughing at him made him ashamed too and he would not find the nerve to try it again if he, like the pattern would indicate, also has bad self esteem!


As for reporting -- yeah, maybe I should have tried. Now it's a bit late, I don't even recall the color of his car or of his hair (my memory thankfully suppressed as much of it as it could afford to)!
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I tried laughing at the guy who was stalking me. I thought it would stop him, but unfortunately it just infuriated him. Nothing I did stopped him.

I often wonder about the psychology behind pervert behaviour. In the end, the only way I could find to be able to cope with it in my own mind, was to try to feel sorry for the guy. I imagine people like that must be deeply disturbed. I found it easier to feel pity, rather than anger.
 
I have also experienced the same thing. I was riding a public bus that time and I was sitting next to this man, he looked like he's in his late 20's. He was actually pretty good looking wearing a suit and tie, but after the incident, I have realized that looks can really be deceiving. He then asked me the time, and I answered him respectfully. After that, he started asking me really private questions, I was already uncomfortable but he kept telling me it was just a survey. I believed him though, I was really stupid. I didn't know he was already using me for his "masturbation purposes." When I didn't respond to his indecent questions anymore because it was already way too much for me, he took out his penis and masturbated next to me. I was really scared and shocked at the same time. I didn't know what to do. I just stared out the window and hoped that he would not touch me. I know that was very stupid of me but I was just fourteen and haven't come across with this kind of situation before.
 
"Pleasuring" yourself in public is a crime. At the very least that person can be charged with indecent exposure. And at times it can be taken more seriously. The judge, for example, who was masturbating in the court room was jailed for 4 years. So never let a pervert get by with his crime.
 
If they are doing nothing wrong it's hard to catch them, but nothing like taking pictures to document it to the police.
 
Rainman said:
"Pleasuring" yourself in public is a crime. At the very least that person can be charged with indecent exposure. And at times it can be taken more seriously. The judge, for example, who was masturbating in the court room was jailed for 4 years. So never let a pervert get by with his crime.
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Fair enough, but a judge masturbating in a courtroom will be seen and recognized by a complete room of people, whereas some stranger passing through your life -- you would have no proof of and no idea how to identify correctly the person... Besides, in a courtroom, you would be in shock over this happening, but it isn't the sort of "just walk away!" situation because you think you could be harmed -- just like you would not walk away if it were in a supermarket or school or mall. I think part of what makes it unreported, on top of the "no proof" and "no precise identification" is that you know that assaults and rapes take place in empty streets and subways, so you're quite troubled but you think 'But better not push it so the person does not attack me I'm still safe' and then when you're home you think 'Thank God nothing worse happened!'.

Regarding the psychology of perverts -- yup, really wonder about it. It's clearly a very disruptive fetisch, and I bet many of them have serious mental issues.
 
If you're worried about that creep finding out that you reported and him coming after you - don't. Cops will never disclose your information because that will possibly put you in danger. But I seriously suspect that you weren't the only one who encountered that perv.
 
RingoBerry said:
If you're worried about that creep finding out that you reported and him coming after you - don't. Cops will never disclose your information because that will possibly put you in danger. But I seriously suspect that you weren't the only one who encountered that perv.
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This, in cases like this the police will handle the case with utmost safety, unless the offender has reason to know it's you, then there's nothing to fear. And let's also be fair, the creeps who expose themselves in this way don't usually turn violent, it's a voyeur fetishism, not a violent one. If they really do have an uncontrollable desire to expose themselves publicly, they should be dealt with accordingly, more women might suffer the same experience if you don't report it
 
It would be best to report those people to the law enforcement. Whether the police catch the suspect or not, doesn't mean that you can't help prevent young kids and teens from seeing and being victims of scenes like that. I honestly don't understand why people do things like that anyway. It's very immature and child like. If I was you I wouldn't put up with junk like that I would report them to the authorities and hopefully they get caught and spend their time..
 
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