Physical Harassment

[DancingLady]

A close friend of mine is being harassed at work by a very, very clever man. He has been doing things in a way that make it look innocent, so he can't be caught, but she has caught on to the pattern and is actively resiting his advances. He one fingered her waste, which she called him on and reported to her boss.

He has been trying to get into rooms with her alone and manipulating circumstances to make that happen in the course of the days work. She is very afraid that if he touches her again she may do something like hit him and end up in jail for assault, even though she was responding to a real threat to her safety. I would like to know what the laws are with regards to this. It is pretty obvious that this man's intention are to take advantage of my friend sexually if given the opportunity, but he is very smart about not doing anything that would look like a crime to those who don't realize he is this kind of person.

She is going to confront him today about his behavior and tell her boss again about the pattern of behavior she is observing. What is scary is that this is a situation where she could easily be accused of over reacting, but at the same time, if she doesn't act defensively, she could end up sexually assaulted.

Are there any actual cops on here who could offer some advice on this or let me know what the laws are with regards to women reacting to harassment that isn't technically an attack, but is an invasion of their space, unwanted touch with sexual intent?

 

[Patrick]

I would recommend that she start looking for a job right away, and leave once she has gotten a new job offer. Often raising the issue to HR would just create a lot of red tape and nothing would really be done, worse she could be labelled as a troublemaker and it might be harder for her to quit/find a new job then.

 

[Peninha]

I think that it's the best advice, if he's being clever she better run away from all that. She can also try to get him on video as proof?

 

[GemmaRowlands]

If somebody is being harassed, they do not have to put up with it. It is very important that they get help as soon as possible, and if people won't listen to them then they simply need to make sure that they shout even louder the next time they mention it. Everybody has the right to go about their day to day business without having to worry about what people are going to say or do to them, and for this reason it is very important that your friend gets her issue sorted out as soon as she possibly can.

 

[Determined2014]

I would change jobs immedietly, because this guy does not seem like he will quit what he is doing any time soon.

 

[Sweetheart]

There are cops on here. I have seen posts by some. I am not, but I am familiar with the situation that you are describing. I have had trouble like this myself. I am going to be working with someone this weekend on something else. I will ask what they think is the best way to address this effectively. The thing about this that I am learning is it is a case of being bullied. A bully looks for body language that tells them the target is easy to do what they want. Slouching and signs of low self-esteem. Bullies and perverts study victims to see who they can take advantage of whether they are conscious of it or not.

 

[Gelsemium]

If the possibility exists, leave that job, no need to be living that hell in a daily basis, just switch jobs and problem solved.

 

[pattycake]

A close friend of mine is being harassed at work by a very, very clever man. He has been doing things in a way that make it look innocent, so he can't be caught, but she has caught on to the pattern and is actively resiting his advances. He one fingered her waste, which she called him on and reported to her boss.

He has been trying to get into rooms with her alone and manipulating circumstances to make that happen in the course of the days work. She is very afraid that if he touches her again she may do something like hit him and end up in jail for assault, even though she was responding to a real threat to her safety. I would like to know what the laws are with regards to this. It is pretty obvious that this man's intention are to take advantage of my friend sexually if given the opportunity, but he is very smart about not doing anything that would look like a crime to those who don't realize he is this kind of person.

She is going to confront him today about his behavior and tell her boss again about the pattern of behavior she is observing. What is scary is that this is a situation where she could easily be accused of over reacting, but at the same time, if she doesn't act defensively, she could end up sexually assaulted.

Are there any actual cops on here who could offer some advice on this or let me know what the laws are with regards to women reacting to harassment that isn't technically an attack, but is an invasion of their space, unwanted touch with sexual intent?

She already brought it up to the boss and it's still going on? Wow... Maybe she didn't say it right. She should tell her boss that the man is harassing her with advances, she don't want it, and it's effecting her ability to do her job. And if it still continues then the boss has no concern for it, so she could try speaking to a lawyer about it. Maybe she can sue the boss, because men don't have the legal right to sexually harass anyone on the job or anyplace else. A lawyer could advise her on what to do.

 

[pattycake]

There are cops on here. I have seen posts by some. I am not, but I am familiar with the situation that you are describing. I have had trouble like this myself. I am going to be working with someone this weekend on something else. I will ask what they think is the best way to address this effectively. The thing about this that I am learning is it is a case of being bullied. A bully looks for body language that tells them the target is easy to do what they want. Slouching and signs of low self-esteem. Bullies and perverts study victims to see who they can take advantage of whether they are conscious of it or not.

Okay, but in the workplace the bully isn't the real problem, it's the management if they're unwilling to do anything about it. So I'm intrigued and await you to get back to us on what that person you'll consult with has to say about it.

 

[pattycake]

I would recommend that she start looking for a job right away, and leave once she has gotten a new job offer. Often raising the issue to HR would just create a lot of red tape and nothing would really be done, worse she could be labelled as a troublemaker and it might be harder for her to quit/find a new job then.

I have been in such a situation myself and know how it is and feels. In my case, the sexual harasser was an HR manager, but I still could have gone over his head with a complaint. Though I felt at a loss to do so because the top man, the chief CEO was hitting on me too. So my reaction was to leave the job. It's a shame that women have to face unemployment over a problem that they should have strong legal protection against. For crying out loud, of all the reasons to render somebody jobless, is perverts on the job who the employee don't want? Women deserve political protection from that.