Can you date your friend's Ex?

wameyo

wameyo

Well-Known Member
There are some personal boundaries that you should never cross when it comes to friends and relationships. There's this about dating your friend's ex. Would you do it? Will it strain the relationship that you have with your pal? What do you think?
 
Well I know it's usually considered taboo, but in High School, my best friend asked if she could date my ex. Since I had broken up with him, it didn't bother me in the least. If HE had initiated the break-up, I might have felt differently. Had that been the case, I don't think she would have considered going out with him.
 
If you love each other I don't see why not. Explain it to them, if they are still un-receptive then you really weren't friends. If they have problems with it, but are still slightly "Ok" with it... I'd suggest never bringing them around the other party. You can still remain friends, and you can still love who you love, but if it's his/her EX don't bring them around. Just don't.

That being said, I wouldn't because of all the awkward situations that can possibly come up. And the best ways to avoid it is to simply find another. If you date their EX they may perceive it as a slight against them, like they weren't good enough and then jealousy can flare up and destroy relationships.
 
This may boil down to age and also location, because it's not always ideal and depends on the time lapse between the relationships. I have a friend who dated her exes friend and now they are married, so it can work once there is distance, but it depends also if both people have moved on and are still on good terms.

Generally older people know it does happen, whereas younger people may see it as betrayal.
 
No. You should never date your friend's ex because that's real awkward and no matter how much your friend says it doesn't bother him/her, believe me, he/she cares about that. As for me, I would never date a friend's ex because I value friendship so much, and I don't want to lose friends along the way, specially if I'm really close to them.
 
No. That's crossing boundaries and the relationship between the two is going to suffer a lot. You can hurt your friend badly if you hook up with his ex, so that's something that only someone who doesn't value friendships is able to do.
I would never do it.
 
Absolutely not. I always found it pretty pathetic when people would ignore the billions of people on the planet for the ONE person that had been with their friend. It's just not cool. And I wouldn't call someone a friend that would risk my friendship for sex. I never dated someone who had been with a friend. Heck, I refused to date people that had been with anyone I KNEW, let alone friends lol. They were just tainted..
 
Yes.i don't see anything wrong in it,as long as you explain to your friend (if he asks for) that it was over between you too and we now have feelings for each other.I don't see anything wrong.Also i am ok with both ways too.
 
No, I'd never date a friend's ex. Beisdes being plain weird, I just wouldn't disrespect a friend like that. PLus, I'd keep thinking aboutmy friend and them doing...you know.
 
missbishi said:
No, I'd never date a friend's ex. Beisdes being plain weird, I just wouldn't disrespect a friend like that. PLus, I'd keep thinking aboutmy friend and them doing...you know.
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It is not about dis-respecting,not always,its about feeling for the other sex.
What if you both strike a better chord than your friend.Sometimes we shouldn't look up too much into it,but either way i respect your perception and accept that opinions vary obviously.
 
I don't have hard and fast rules about this anymore. If I had a friend who treated her guy like crap, and they'd been broken up a while, I might consider it. I don't like people who treat others poorly, so it might not matter so much if I lost her as a friend, which might play into my decision process. I have scaled down my number of friends over the years, and cut out many acquaintances, so these days this isn't a likely scenario for me, but I did date an ex-fiance's friend years ago, as well as his (the ex's) brother. As you can imagine, both situations were difficult.
 
No, there is just no way I could do this and be happy within myself! Like the OP said, there are certain lines that you just don't cross, and this for me is one of the classic examples. There is that unwritten law that we all have to abide by. Even if I were seriously attracted to him and we had chemistry so hot it was sizzling, I'd just have to do something to avoid him and not address it LOL.
 
I think this is ok in school, but it is usually not accepted in adulthood. If you absolutely have to, it should be done in secret until you are sure this relationship is serious. Then you only have one choice to make.
 
oraclemay said:
I think this is ok in school, but it is usually not accepted in adulthood. If you absolutely have to, it should be done in secret until you are sure this relationship is serious. Then you only have one choice to make.
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Second that.Adults react differently when they hear a news like this.
It ain't a sin though and surely not a stigma that people are scared of.Its normal and can happen to anyone.
 
Big huge difference between 'can' you date a friend's ex & 'should' you date a friend's ex. Literally you can of course but it really depends on how deep your friend felt for this person & whether or not those feelings are long gone. Also, simple suggestion, don't believe what your friend has to say about it either. You need to watch closely how they behave around their ex. That'll give you all you need to know.
 
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